Ladybirds & Cowboys,

 

I’m so excited to introduce you to the new members of the Deeper Ground team. This little handsome face is Bowie. You know, like David Bowie. One blue eye, one brown. We rescued him from life on the streets and we’re in loooove.
 

 

This gorgeous river goddess is Meghan Morris. She’s my supersonic-systems-synergizer. She helps me with stuff behind the scenes at Deeper Ground so I’m freed up to help you with even more stuff.

Back in August, I had the pleasure and honor of officiating her wedding. She’s finding out that it takes a lot of training, er… un-training to get into the swing of the awesome wife thing.

 

You know I like to talk about how…

 

The women of planet earth get inundated with some pretty funky messages that really screw with our flow, our confidence, our innate connection to the seasons of things, and our ability to team-play with men.

 

Well, to counteract all the weirdo cultural messaging, Meghan did the coolest, most loving thing. She took her wedding vows, re-wrote them in first person and promised all of those things to herself. WAZAAAAAAM. That’s big power. I was so inspired I decided to do the same thing for myself. Here are a few lines from my love letter to me.

 

“I promise to treat myself with respect, honor my integrity, and be honest & compassionate with myself. I will cherish my uniqueness and strengths and encourage myself to build my areas of weakness. I choose to give priority to the kind attention I deserve.”

 

That’s f’in magical. It feels ridiculously good to have my back like that. I wanna hear your love letters to YOU. Post em’ in the comments, yo!

 

Dude, marry your self. It’s true love. Click to Tweet

 

PS. If you’re in LA & ready to experience more commitment, connection & love – hop, skip, and jump on over to:

 

Wanna Feel Loved?

Saturday, 2/23 10am – Noon
The Hub in West LA

 

Sign up HERE!

 

Xo Syndee

 

Holy mother-of-all-things it has been a massive year!
 
It’s the end of 2012 and the world didn’t end.
Aweeeesooooome!
 

I double dare you to look back at the last year and register what you’ve done really well or simply survived.

 
I’m not telling you to ignore what you’d like to improve on. I am saying take some time to connect to where you’re actually at and what you’ve truly kicked ass at.
 
You’ll be amazed at just how much you’ve grown, learned and accomplished!
 
As the New Year approaches there is a lot of pressure internally and externally to set big ass goals and make massive changes. But…
 
Resolutions don’t work because they get their energy from hype. Click to Tweet
 
Hype gets you riled up. You swear off certain habits and swear onto others. It’s like adrenaline or caffeine; bangin’ at first, burnout after. Not the way I like to set myself up for a New Year.
 
If you look at what you’ve accomplished in 2012 and fully take that in, you’re filling your tanks from your personal source of renewable energy rather than relying on foreign oil (other people’s approval). Your next incremental step will be right there staring at you. And you’ll actually have the energy to accomplish it because… well… it’s just what’s next!
 
Okay, I’ll go first.
 

12 Things I Did Really Freakin’ Well and/or Survived in 2012

1. Launched Deeper Ground, baby!
 
2. Mentored 37 people.
16 of whom I work with on an on-going basis. 4 got married, 3 got into serious relationships, 2 turned around marriages that were on the edge, 2 turned around relationships that were on the edge, 2 nearly doubled their income by learning to work smarter, 5 started building relationships with their families, 3 started dating again after losing hope…
 
3. Created a women’s group.
We… dispelled myths like “don’t tell a dude you want to get married and have kids because he’ll get scared and run” (plenty of them will run, but halla-freakin-lujah, that’s one less relationship-going-nowhere that your truth has spared you!)

And… practiced tools that enable you not to turn into a crazy-firebreathing-goddess-of-death-and-destruction, or a silent-shutdown-soulsucked-psycho-in-suppression-who-one-day-just-POPS.

(If you’re in LA and you’re like “Holy freakin’ shit, I need that!” or “Holy freakin’ shit, my girlfriend neeeeeeeeeeds that!” go here and drop me a line.)
 
4. Performed my first wedding ceremony.
 
5. Celebrated my first wedding anniversary.
 
6. Bought a rundown house on an old fruit orchard.
And discovered that I seriously need to buy my mom a pair of mud boots so she never does this again!

 
7. Oversaw the fix-up-the-house project.
Learned more than I ever thought I’d need to know about design, blueprints, city planning, the toxicity of building supplies and (mostly) healthy alternatives, but not quite enough to actually start construction or to avert spending $8000 on the world’s worst architect (that might be an exaggeration) and the world’s weirdest gardener (definitely not an exaggeration).
 
8. Backed my man up.
He’s teaching his parents how to be more respectful of him (it’s working, it’s working). He put up a preview of his rock opera, finished his PhD (woohoooo, I’m married to a doctor… of music), and is building his music licensing business.
 
9. Strengthened my relationship with my sister.
I’m finally starting to get it into my thick skull that she reaaaaaally likes it when I’m straight up with her. Even if I say what I don’t like that she’s doing. She just wants to know where I’m at. Mind blown. Mind blooooown.
 
10. Spent 384 hours (or 23,040 minutes) training with my mentor.
Probably more, but counting (and folding laundry) are not my strengths.

11. Turned 32 and had a roller skating party.

 
12. Lost my best friend, Balya (who was inhabiting a dog body)
 

Yup. Super sad shit, people. Don’t let your animals eat grapes, raisins, avocados, chocolate or anything with xylitol in it. Scientists don’t understand why a dog can eat 100 grapes one day and be fine and another day they can eat just 1 and lose function of their kidneys.
 
My handsome little medicine dog was 6 years old and super healthy. He ate grapes off a vine and within 12 days in a world-class treatment center… Finito. Gone. I can still feel his power guiding me from beyond, but man do I miss his golden fur and his confident, mystical ways.

 

Now that you’re all teary eyed… take a deep breath, hug your pups a little closer and let’s move onto…
 
Sustainable Goal Setting
 
I’ve got 3 goals for 2013 because I’m a firm believer that doing less well is better than doing a ton poorly. And I know that I’ve gotta leave room on my plate for the multitude of unforeseen happenings that life will surely present me with.
 
Are your goals trumped up and ego-driven or just what’s next? Click to Tweet
 

3 Things I’m Taking On in 2013
 
1. Build, finish, and move into my house.
 
2. Hire a personal assistant and learn how to be an employer.
 
3. Deepen my relationship with myself, my husband, my job.
 

Okay, your turn.
 
Take out a pen and paper or just type into the comment box…
 
1. At least 12 things that you did really well and/or survived in 2012.
 
2. Your next incremental step or steps to take in 2013.
 

To ending well and starting strong Xo

Syndee

 

 
I’ve recently come down from a really hectic cellular spazz attack. I woke up at 4am, mind all race cars and fighter missiles, trying figure out a new pricing structure.
 
But the thing is I loooove my clients. They’re all super soulful women (and a few amazing men) who’re working on creating vital health, thriving, dynamic relationships and building balanced careers that support their lifestyles.
 
So why was I so convinced that I just had to double my prices?
 
Because in the depths of my cells I can feel that it’s what is needed? Nope.
Because other people told me I should? Errrrr… uh, yup.

 

“Charge what you’re worth” = B U L L S H I T

 
That’s right… I just said it. Now that my brain cells have regained equilibrium I’m very clear that no one, not even Richard Branson can pay me what I’m worth.
 

I’m not for sale. I’m a human being + I’m priceless. So are you. Click to Tweet
 

This tail spin started because several people, out of total love for me, started commenting on the fact that I offer a lot more time and charge a lot less money than other people in my field.
 
My coaching sessions are 90 mins, I see 90% of my clients every single week and charge between $90 – $150 a pop depending on how they pay. If you do the math, that means they can get me to themselves every week for the entire year for under $5000! That’s way, way,waaaaay more for your money than is the norm in the coaching world.
 
I’m NOT a newbie coach. I’m experienced, and I’m damn good at what I do. So why am I charging so little?
 

My prices aren’t a reflection of my value, but of my values. Click to Tweet

 
I love working with people who are super connected, fiercely committed and finding their way. People who desire dynamic, thriving, stable relationships and good work. People who are dedicated to true growth, not just the sexy-ness of a breakthrough.
 

I love my clients. Every single one of them is an incredibly courageous human being learning to trust the truth of who they are. They’re consistently becoming clearer, stronger, and more open to life. They’re going from single to dating, from dating to married. From scared and running to solid and earning good money. They keep coming back week after week, month after month, because even if it is a stretch sometimes, they find a way to make it happen without throwing off the balance of their whole life.
 

I’m not looking for clients who can pay more. I’m not even looking for any more clients. If one or two super dedicated hungry folks find me and we’re a stellar match, I’d take ‘em on, but I’m not actively looking.
 

I’ll raise my prices when I raise my prices. I’ll raise them when it feels right to me. It might be next month, it might be next year. The one thing I know for sure is that it won’t have anything to do with my worth or my value!
 

Now you’re like $5000 for a whole year?! And I’m like, yup… see.
 

 

Jump and find your wings on the way down.

Follow your heart and everything will fall into place.

Do what you love!

 

These phrases get passed around creatives, coaches and fledgling entrepreneurs with viral speed. They’re inspiring, uplifting and meant to encourage us, and yet… they’re half-truths. The thing is, us humans are a part of nature, not outside of it. So the basic principles of evolution actually, ahem… apply to us.

 

A refresher…

 

Minute incremental movement, minute barely perceptible incremental movement, a gazillion billion moments of minute barely perceptible movements – BOOM – sudden change.

 

Like earthquakes and the emergence of new species, we don’t see all of the detailed minutiae that lead to the big shift. We suddenly feel the earth shaking. Birds just appear on the planet when before there were only dinosaurs. These inspiration quotes are meant to remind us that quantum shifts do happen. Yet…

 

In the promise of wings we forget the incremental shifts that enable them. Click to Tweet

 

Half-truths aren’t just half the story, they can be freakin’ dangerous! A while back, a really amazing woman came to me for some assistance. I’m telling you her story because you might see yourself in parts of her and I don’t want her $1000+ lesson to become your $10,000+ lesson!

 
This woman, we’ll call her Sassy, is teaming with enthusiasm, hungry to grow, and as smart as a whip. But in all her hunger to be one of the internet’s famous who do what they love and get paid for it, she got swept up in the tide of half-truths, and got thrown down, face first, into the sand.

 
Sassy started an online business, and instead of teaching skills that she already has (and she’s got a LOT of super useful skills), she started marketing herself as a business coach.

 
WARNING: Short Semi-Tangential Rant

 
If you’re working a 9-5 and are trying to become an entrepreneur, don’t teach people how to build a profitable business doing what they love. If you’re not making 6 figures, don’t tell people you can teach them how to do it. If you actually knew how to do it, you’d be doing it yourself!

 

 
Plus… people are listening to you and taking your advice; so please, oh please, know what the hell you’re talking about! Same thing goes for ‘relationship’ and ‘love’ experts who are single… eeeeeek… don’t even get me started.

 
 

Aaaaand… back to the story!
 
So… Sassy had this business coaching gig going for over a year and still hadn’t gotten more than a few clients. She kept taking all of these business training courses and re-doing her website and nothing was working. Why? Because on an underlying level, people could feel that she was copying what she thought she should be offering. All while sitting on a goldmine of skills that she didn’t recognize were skills!

 
What do you *actually* have to offer? What can you *already* do? Offer THAT! Click to Tweet

 
Frustrated by her lack of success and hyped up on internet half-truths, she finally took the “find your wings on the way down” leap. She quit her day job and moved away from her community and her support network to live in another city. The glorious sexy city she had always wanted to live in. People were thrilled for her… “Go girl, follow your heart… it never leads you astray!” Well, needless to say, that’s not quite how things worked out.

 
A month or two into the adventure, the high started to wear off and reality started to sink in. Sassy had no friends, didn’t feel safe in her neighborhood, had no day job, and no clients coming in through her internet business. And then, through a series of unfortunate (but oh so divinely timed) events, someone stole her last $1000 worth of savings and she was about 2 weeks away from being without shelter. That’s when she called me. Freaking out.

 
One of my old clients bought two sessions and asked me donate them to someone in need. So when this woman skyped me looking way way way too skinny (she was eating one tiny meal a day to try to save the last of her money), I said…

 
“Sassy, it’s your lucky day. Someone gifted you with two 90 min sessions! But before we schedule those, call up your boss, get your job back, and get your ass home… like lickity split, sister!”

 
It could’ve been worse. She could have waited until she had no home, it could have been mid-winter in the mid-west, she could have burned a bridge with her old boss. But, she was smart enough to realize she’d gotten swept up in an empty promise pretty darn quickly, strong enough to ask for help, and humble enough to dust herself off and go, “Oooooops!”

 
Once she got her food, shelter and clothing covered, she’s been able to focus her creative energy on attracting a man who will adore her (and I assure you, she’s adore-able!) and crafting a business that is a natural outpouring of what she already does so well. Once she actually grows out of the need for her day job, I’ll be that person in the corner wiping her sweat with a towel and cheering her on as she teaches you how to rock your biz!

 
The moral of the story?!

1. Don’t quit your job and starve to death.

2. Be smart enough, strong enough, and humble enough to ask for help.

3. Remember that big-ass storms have to happen for rainbows to magically appear.

4. And, lastly, if you’re a bomb-ass tortilla maker, sell tortillas not cheesecake, okay?

 

Did you need to hear this? Do you know someone who does? Pass it to the left, yo!

 

What a freakin’ amazing experience it is to cross the finish line and feel successful. Nothin’ better. To hit this double jackpot again and again you’ve got to…

Know the difference between goals and intentions and use them both according to their design.

If you can relate to any of the following scenarios, what I’m about to share with you will get you on track for success and satisfaction:

You get the job and the house and still feel empty. You’re clear about the caliber of man you want to meet, but somehow never meet him. You get in the best shape of your life, are dating someone really nice, but still feel lonely. You can’t seem to land the gig you want.

The truth is…

The universe isn’t flawed + you’re not unlucky. You just have your goal/intention wires crossed. Click to Tweet

 

Using Goals + Intentions to Get What You Want

Let’s get you re-wired.
 
Goals are concrete actions leading to a specific endpoint. They are measurable and constrained by physical time and space.

Intentions, on the other hand, are overarching directional desires. They are non-linear pulls from the depths of your soul. They are north stars that help you navigate.

Two common wiring errors:

1. You set goals that aren’t aligned with your intentions.

This happens when you reach for goals you think you are supposed to go for, rather than listening to that hum in your bones. The symptoms of this wiring error look like a nasty people-pleasing habit, being overly flexible, not being honest about the fact that you loooooooove your job and really don’t feel good in your soul about being a full-time stay home mom and you don’t SAY anything about it.
 

2. You think you have goals, but they are really intentions.

This all too common wiring error is getting handled, right now! Take this real life example from one of my clients. I asked her to set one clear actionable goal. Her response:

“I don’t want to get sucked into my mom’s neediness and drama and end up feeling guilty and ashamed every time I talk to her.”
 

Ahem… That’s not a goal. It’s an intention. It’s something she wants deeply for herself, with all of her heart and soul. It’s commendable and awesome… and it’s still not a goal. After clarifying the difference between goals and intentions and some deep self discovery, she came up with this:

“I will not allow myself to answer my mom’s calls or texts Friday night through Monday morning. I told her that I will not be available for talking during this time.”
 

Now that is a goal.

It’s measurable. It’s not open-ended, vague or subjective. She’ll know if she did it or not and it is constrained by time. It’s very doable, but still challenging for her.

By setting a clear goal that supports her in the direction of her intention, she’ll be able to cross the finish line and feeeeel successful. That small win will fuel her to set another, more challenging goal, and on and on she goes in the direction of her intention.

When you achieve goals that support your intention you feeeel successful because you are! Click To Tweet

 

Challenge yourself to be accountable. In the comments, write one intention you have and one clear, measurable, time-constrained goal that will move you in the direction of your deepest desire. I’m cheering you on!

 

I’d like to make boredom a dinosaur. Really. It’s a sneaky beast. It pulls us out of our personal power. Woos us into the notion that we need to be entertained.

The truth is, if you’re bored there is something you can do about it. Right now!

This simple tool will totally shift your perception + get you fully engaged with the juiciness of the present moment. Even if you’re with ‘boring people!’

 

 
Action Steps

1. Get busy, not bored! (click to tweet)
 
2. Write down your insights about the power of the squeeeeeeze.
 
3. Come to class… they’re running all summer long… get the deets here.

 

Break-ups don’t have to suck and they don’t have to be messy.

They can leave you feeling calm, confident and totally in integrity. They can leave the other person feeling great about themselves. Will they be sad? For a bit, yeah. Endings are sad, but they won’t be broken. They’ll feel even more connected to their passions, their path, their truest truths. Sound like a fairy-tale? It’s not. You can totally learn this, I promise!
 

 

Have something or someone in your life you’re ready to break-up with, but need some help getting balanced, clear + confident? I can help you. Get up-skilled.

 

Wanna go deeper? Get updates, It’s FREE

 

Ever find yourself caught in a line of thinking that robs you of joy + energy?
Don’t those just SUCK?!?!!

If you’re anything like me, you want to get your mental energy moving in a functional way before you make too big of a mess.

Here’s a tool I use to free my mind from fixation. I don’t just tell you about it, I use it on myself with a real life, real time example so you get to see it in action!

 

 

I’ve gotten really freakin’ good at manifesting exactly what I want.

And I don’t do the hustle.

Wanna drop the scurrying + increase your results?

I’ll show you how I do it!

 

 

Yup. And neither do ‘irresponsible people’.

I’m passing on a super simple tool that’ll get you out of your ideas of who you are and into the moment where you actually are. You can’t change your past, and your future depends on the choices you are making right NOW.

Let’s bust some myths and get your energy movin’!